Balancing personal and professional life…

Nearly five years in my corporate life and I have not met a single person who can boast of a healthy work-life balance. Is our professional life really that demanding? Deep within us we know the right answer. Let’s be honest – Nothing can stop us from giving time to our family & friends, hobbies and interests or just ourselves.

Questions I would attempt to answer here:

1. What is Work Life Balance?
2. Satisfaction at work
3. Do we do full justice to our employment/business/profession?
4. How can we give time to family?
5. Can we stay in touch with our school friends life-long? Do we still need our mentors?
6. Can we continue respecting our hobbies/interests?
7. How important is to spend with oneself?

Work Life Balance: In my opinion, work-life balance is attained when we have no regrets and enjoy our current stage in life. I would say I have a good WLB when:

• I clearly know my objectives at work and feel successful there
• I don’t need to take work home,
• When my family has least complaints,
• When I am in physical and mental peace.

Satisfactions at Work: I know of people who do this exercise every day/week: they ask themselves if they are successful at work or not. What matters to them is the quality of relationships with peers/seniors/subordinates. Equally important is self-development and learning. May be, chopping them down on paper and taking actions is a best practice. It is also important to know what your goals are and plans to achieve those goals (vision and mission).

Family Time: How much time in a day is ideal for family? We cannot have a perfect answer here. Every moment and every emotion with family is unique and worth treasuring. I feel one must have at least one meal a day together with every member in family. Each family member needs and deserves his/her time in our lives. But, in my opinion, I would prioritize in the following order: parents (self + in-laws), spouse, kids, and siblings. How do we spend quality time with them? I can offer few quick tips here

• Parents: Take them for an outing, just lie in their lap, and be responsible for their medication. If you are away, talk to them “everyday”. If they are retired/sick – they seek more time from you. The least we can do is watch TV with them.
• Spouse: Do anything you can think of that is romantic, involve him/her in your decisions (however small or big), few small chits/notes to show your love, read old cards and letters. Give unexpected shocks (including coming home early or taking a weekday off)
• Kids: Play with them (games will change with their age, and you can enjoy a second childhood), help with their homework, keep them informed about family and teach them family values. Never miss their annual/sports day, parent-teacher meetings and result day. Watch cartoon with them and feel the relaxation in your mind. Missing on their childhood is simply worse than missing few timely promotions in your corporate career.
• Siblings: Once in a period, play those games which you all played as children. Take their advice when you feel lost. Help them – even financially. One of my friends father ensures a holiday with his siblings every year – and each one of them really looks forth to the next year.

Friends: Don’t you smile when you see a scrap from your old pal? Even a small unexpected “hello” can do wonders and nothing special is required here. It’s okay if you miss their dates (birthday, anniversary) but it’s unacceptable if you don’t respond back to the call you missed/ignored/promised to call back. Share some text messages when you thought of them while reading it. Let them know that they are important. Take out time to read old letters/cards/emails/sms and share with them once again (I find this a very useful way to keep my friendships afresh). I am a firm believer in remaining in touch with our teachers and professors. When we share our success with them, it’s another source of motivation for us to reach newer heights. We should let them know that their lessons and efforts have helped us reach where we are. Like our parents, they simply have a right on us and it’s our delightful duty to oblige here.

Interests/Hobbies: Perhaps you are unhappy because you do what everyone above asks you to do. You feel that you are grown-up and/or do not have time for your interests. If you really want to see an immediate change in your mood, spend 10-15 daily on any of your lost interests. I totally disagree with the concept that interests change with time. I feel, activities we are interested in as a child/student must never be stopped – else we stop enjoying our lives. We can surely develop new interests over time (for example, today I might say I like reading research reports, but that doesn’t mean I can survive without spending time listening to music or cooking).  Most of us sit online for at least 2-3 hours in a day; many of our favorite activities are available on the web. My brother (father of two and totally into business) still ensures playing cricket whichever Sunday he can. Most of my colleagues use their commuting time reading works of their favorite authors or just self-help material.

Where am I? One must talk to himself or write a diary. This is easy – if you walk/exercise, utilize that time in thinking the next course of action. Try to analyze what you still need to work-on. Take steps. These can be either for your professional life or family life or just for you. If you did some self-help assignments, it might be worth re-visiting them and re-evaluating them, may be re-taking them as well. If I may suggest, it’s always fun and helpful to go through few psychometric tests to know what we are and how are we developing.

Today, if I don’t start paying attention to these small things, I will really regret when I am alone (for whatever reason). I won’t have impressive and interesting stories to talk about or feel proud of. And so it matters to have a balance in my work and personal life.

2009 – Another Boring Year in Bollywood

I am so much missing my college days and first few years in corporate life. I never missed a movie, in fact I saw some of them as many as 10 times in a theatre. But, when I recall 2009 movies – though I didn’t see many, it’s as if I haven’t missed much.

While I have seen 3-idiots (which is undoubtedly the best offering of the year), I missed Wanted and Kaminey (which appear to be in the Top-10 for the year; at least as far as the box-office collection is considered). As a matter of fact, the year screened approx 75 movies; of which key ones were:

• Excellent: 3-idiots
• Good : Paa, Luck by Chance, Dev D
• Above Average: New York, Wake Up Sid, Rocket Singh, Raaz-2, Love Aaj Kal, Jail
• Average: Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani, All The Best, Delhi-6, Life Partner, Dil Bole Hadippa

The worst shocks were ‘Chandni Chowk to China’ and ‘Blue’, not blaming Akshay Kumar though.

The first forecasts for Award Winners: 

• Entertainer of the Year: Ranbir Kapoor
• Best Actor (Male): Mr. Bachchan (Paa)
• Best Actor (Female): Priyanka Chopra (What’s your Rashee?)
• Best Supporting Actor (Male): R. Mahadhvan (3-idiots)
• Best Supporting Actor (Female): Giselli Monteiro
• Best Debutant: Giselli Monteiro
• Best Movie: 3-idiots

What led to such a poor year?

• Recession??? I doubt (If hollywood could manage spending $450mn on Avatar, we were surely in a better economic scenario)
• No Shahrukh Khan movie(s): Give me a break, when was the last time you REALLY liked his act? I don’t think I liked him ever after Chak De India. And if he is the key driver of Bollywood, let me tell you nothing interesting is coming in 2010 either
• Lack of promotion: for sure. Of the 75 movies (yes, approx), there were hardly any which had attractive promos (except for BLUE).
• The Producer-Multiplex war - This was the number 1 reason. It took away the key season (summers) from the industry.  I still take the multiplex-owner’s side in the case.
• Piracy - This is another solid reason which needs an immediate attention. You EASILY get the pirated DVDs (at Rs. 20/- to 50/-) on the day of the release. We get these if we walk 20 steps out of office when we go for a smoke/tea. No online booking or standing in queue required. I am not mentioning what we download free.  If you did not know, pirated CDs and DVDs take away more than Rs. 10 million from the industry’s accounting records.

In fact, for nearly four months in the year, many multiplexes in Gurgaon kept few of their screens shut. This wasn’t because people were not watching movies. This was because there weren’t even average movies being released during that time, accompanied by the producer-multiplex war.

As far as music goes, there surely were few good numbers but none extra-ordinary. My personal favorite album is:  3-idiots because it offers something very soothing and different. I have liked all five of them:  Aal Izz Well, Zoobi Doobi, Jaane Nahin Denge Tujhe, Give Me Some Sunshine, Behti Hawa Sa Tha Woh.

Lets look for a better 2010 – not only in terms of better film making (we already have world-class film makers), but in terms of industry revenues and bottom line as well. At least – you – who is reading this blog – stop buying pirated copies. Wait for the Moser bear DVD/CD or go to a single screen cinema hall. At least consider this as one of your resolutions (even if you keep it for the first few weeks/months, it’s a good start).

3 idiots – AAL IS WELL… Must watch for students and to-be-parents!

3 idiots… “AAL IS WELL” (a must watch for all students and to-be-parents!)

Preface: Like any of you, I had been waiting for this release ever since I heard of its production plans. It was the first show in Gurgaon, my wife and I were the first ones to enter the hall -It gave some special feeling, which had some positive vibes (ignore if it went above the head).

Let me start by thanking my parents and teachers who always said – do what you like, and not what your family/peers want you to be. Don’t run after success, run after excellence. The movie conveys the same message again.  If someone asks me, I would recommend those who are in their 40+ (except teachers) NOT to watch it. I fear they would feel guilty – esp. after seeing two ladies and a gentle-man crying really bad at the exit of the cinema hall. This one is for all students (whichever course/class they are in) and for new and prospective parents.

Scope: It’s not 5-point someone, it’s not Rang-de-basanti, Mohabbatein or Munna bhai MBBS. It is fresh – well directed, well enacted, well edited, well photographed (esp. Laddakh) movie – a real complete package. Like any R. Hirani + V. Chopra presentation, it has “brilliant” comedy accompanied with a message for all of us. One thing is sure – we all will recall our school/college days. If “Taare Zameen Par” was for kids and parents; this one is (more) for teenagers and other youth.

Specialties: If you cried in TZP, this might not be an exception either. Even though I’d heard many of those jokes earlier, this was a perfect “demonstration”. You will enjoy the tech language used esp. virus, kilobyte, megabyte, gigabyte. It even appears to be Sci-fi in some scenes (sorry, but can’t be a spoil sport by revealing them) and Rancho (as expected) is the inventor. One big shock/twist just before the interval keeps you thinking (what? I told you I am not a spoil sport!). Some funny scenes (whether hostile or friendly+thankful) are a treat to the eye and the heart (I wish I could write more).

Music: It is Class apart – may it be the lyrics or the background sound (which at jolly times reminded my wife and me of Tom and Jerry!). Lyrics are simple, yet they leave a mark – a big one! You MUST listen to the songs multiple times or download the lyrics from the web.

Star cast: Aamir (the demonstrator) is surely looking what he has to – a 20-yr old engineering student (I guess the hair cut got it right, not forgetting all his efforts to burn the ghajini body). Even when he had to look 30, he made it there as well (thanks to the pair of glasses). I still can’t spell or pronounce his names (the ‘s’ here is not by mistake!) except Rancho; so will stick to it. R. Madhavan deserves the Best Supporting Actor award for the year. If Rancho is the cause, he is the effect – you can see it in every giggle/tear of his. This is Maddy’s best acting performance, without a doubt. Sharman Joshi is just himself; no invention with him unlike the peers – but that doesn’t mean he is not good.  Boman Irani repeats his role of Munna Bhai MBBS. Kareena appeared elder to the 20-yr old Rancho; but didn’t grow even after a decade. I found her good only when she was drunk. Somehow, I felt she was a misfit (“chota muh badi baat” may be) and the only name I could think of was Juhi Chawla – she would have been apt for what the role demanded. Javed Jafery has nothing to offer (not his fault).

A word of caution: You can and must watch only with your spouse/friends/siblings/cousins – okay, your generation. I will (personally) not recommend watching with anyone +/- 20 years of your age. Not that the movie offers anything vulgar, but most of us still can’t take few of those jokes in a healthy manner with our parents/kids. Those who have stayed in a hostel will surely cry and may-be drink and smoke extra.

Special Message: If you pee in public places, learn about its possible implications from the movie.

A request: Don’t watch it on a pirated version (I saw it in the market in the evening itself). Watch morning shows, go to single screens or wait for the television premiere. Our industry can offer these “world class” movies only when the audience (YOU and I) is supportive.

If you are still reading; and waiting for what I’d rate this brilliant work of art, I would say 9.75 on 10 (Yes, I don’t like Kareena Kapoor except in Jab-we-Met).